Thank You, Lord...

^{O my soul, rejoice!}

As I look back through my prayer journal for the year 2009 I can the see the mark of God's faithfulness over and over again. He has been with me every step of the way. He never left my side. And I am thankful... you can see it splashed most every page.

In this year 2009, what have I learned?
I will take an excerpt from one of my prayers this summer:

I will forgive; You forgave me.
I will let go; You're in control.
I will believe; You are trustworthy.
I will be patient; it is a virtue and pleasing to You.
I will have joy, for You are my salvation.
I will remain; You will never let me go.
I will persevere, for you have promised a crown of life.
I will trust; You are faithful.
I will sing; You sing over me.
I will be still; You are God.
I will pray, for You hear me.
I will glorify; You are King.
I will please; for it is my deepest desire.
I will walk confidently in my steps; You have told me so.
I will love; You have loved me first.

Any more to add?
I will dance before You just like King David, for he was a man after Your own heart. I will wait on You and not waste this time; what You offer is worth waiting for. I will rejoice always; You have brought me to life. I will live free, for who the Son sets free is free indeed. And above all: I will focus on my relationship with You, for that is all that matters. May this vapor of a life be a glorifying flash of light for the One who made me.

Thank You for an amazing year, Lord.
Do Your will in the next.

I love You, Abba.

One After Another...

_{Two devotionals that spoke into my life.
--By Darlene Sala--}

God and My To-Do List

What do you have written on your to-do list for today? Will you get it all done? Will God feel let down if you don't?
Many of us feel God is disappointed in us if we don't accomplish all we hope. Somehow we must feel that if we could just get it all done, we'd sense His smile of approval. We feel guilty when at the end of some days not even one item on the list is crossed off, because the day just didn't go like we planned. And we figure God must be pretty disappointed with us, too.
But Jesus did not come to earth to help us get more done. He came to make it possible through His life and death and resurrection for us to have a personal relationship with God. Not just "fire insurance" to keep us out of hell, but day-to-day walking and talking together.
I like the phrase "the fellowship of the Holy Spirit" used in 2 Corinthians 13:14. God the Holy Spirit lives within us, and that means we can have fellowship with Him through His Spirit. That means we can sense His presence right where we are in the middle of our circumstances.
It is not enough to organize your life so that you get the most important things done first--unless the very first thing on your list is your relationship with God. It's not enough to learn to win friends and influence people, as good as that is, unless the #1 Friend in your life is Jesus. It's not enough to learn to think positively unless your thoughts throughout the day center on God.
God's love is neither increased nor diminished by the success of failure of your to-do list. Instead He wants your first concern to be how you can fellowship with Him on a closer, warmer, and more personal level, no matter how efficient and organized--or inefficient and chaotic--your life may be.
When you have that sort of relationship, you can trust your to-do list to Him. He knows better than you what you really need to accomplish.

["It's all hinged on your relationship with God."]

-=-=-=-=-

Wait

The psalmist urges us:

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Over and over the Bible repeats these words: "Wait for the Lord." Wait for God to act. Wait for Him to do what no one else can do in your situation. This kind of waiting doesn't mean drumming your fingers on the table while you accuse God of being slow. Instead, it means you take courage--you take heart--because all the time you're waiting, in your heart-of-hearts you truly believe He will act in time.
"God is seldom early, but His is never late," says my husband. In fact, they'll probably chisel it on his tombstone someday because he not only says it, he lives it. Yes, the God who invented time will answer before it's too late.
Evangelist Dwight L. Moody had a brother who was an unbeliever. For forty years Moody prayed that his brother would turn to the Lord. But he never saw it happen, for Dwight L. Moody died still waiting for his brother to come to Christ. What Moody never learned on earth, however, was that after his death, his brother did come to a saving knowledge of Christ. God did answer Moody's prayers. The God who said, "Wait for the Lord," was faithful to answer.
The circumstances of your life may look like a tangled mess of threads instead of a beautiful tapestry. Put God in charge and wait for Him to act. Nothing is impossible with Him.
Hannah Whitall Smith wrote, "It is not hard...to trust the management of the universe, and all of the outward creation, to the Lord. Can your case then be so much more complex and difficult than these that you need be anxious or troubled about His management of you?"
Yes, God wants to be the manager of your life. Think about that next time you look up into the sky and see the heavenly bodies that God keeps going in their precise orbits. Think about it when you watch the Discovery Channel of TV and marvel at the intricacies of the cycles of life that God sustains on this earth.
If God can manage the universe with such skill and care, I suspect He can handle your life's pressures and challenges as well.

["The Lord knows when a sparrow falls from the sky. Are you not more valuable than these? Be anxious for nothing. Do not worry. Be not afraid..."]

--
^{Devotions from "Encouraging Words for Women" by Darlene Sala}

Flash from the Past

Previously posted October 19, 2007.

It's pretty ordinary around here.

Except for one exciting thing that happened.
My parents work with a ministry called Agape Flights, you might already know that. Anyways, every Wednesday two pilots come in and stay at our house overnight after the flight. This week we had an interesting occurrence.
My dad and I drove to a place near by to get some pizza for dinner that night. We had a great conversation. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff. I can't even begin to tell you all of it. But I do remember one thing.
We talked about all of the paradoxes in our faith.
Freedom by surrender naming one.
It's so crazy.

Christianity is the only faith that I know of that you can't personally do anything to get into heaven/nirvana/peace or whatever you're looking for. It's only by the grace of God that we make it. And we don't even deserve it. Nor can we ever gain it. Only receive it.

Doesn't that point to something there?

Yeah, it's the hardest, but at the same time, a child can understand it. People try to make salvation so complicated, and it's so simple. Isn't that just like God? He never seems to do things the way we expect Him to. But He does them perfectly.

But anyways, that's not even the exciting thing that happened.
We got back home and sat around the table, eating pizza and breadsticks. It was nice. And then one of the pilots (the volunteer, not the captain) pops a question. He says he wants to "pick our brains" so to speak. Get our perspective on a few things.

So he asks, "Is God into micro-managing?"
I'm a little confused so I ask him what he means.
He asks, "Well, is God into the details, or did He kind of just create the earth and say 'Okay, here's the earth, go and do something good with it.' Did He just set it in motion and kind of back away to see what would happen?"

And that's where it started.

As we tried to satisfy him with an answer to this questions he asks other questions like, "What about the people who never hear the name of Jesus? What about them?"

And after talking with him (me, my dad, my mom, Jeff, and Charlie) we finally come to this conclusion. We finally have this epiphany of sorts.

"Ohhhh, he's not a Christian yet."

That turned the whole discussion in a new direction. We were wondering why talking about certain things didn't seem to make much sense to him. So we started trying to take out some of those "Christian" words that tend to confuse people and just be straight to the point.

We didn't try to convert him. Just answer his questions to the best of our ability. To let him know that he is a sinner, but Jesus still loves him.

It was a really great night. I listened mostly. Feeling like that kid Elihu who had to speak after all those older than him before he could speak to Job.

Sometimes I felt like crying for that guy. He kept saying,
"I feel like God is a great guy. A really kind being. With infinite intelligence. And I think He's smart enough to see a grey area. So that those who are basically good people, He'll go ahead and let into heaven."

That's just not how it works. And I don't think he wanted to admit that. He wanted us to tell him he's basically a good guy. He didn't have to worry about getting into heaven.

He kept forgetting that we are all sinners.
And we have fallen short of the glory of God.
And God still loves us.
But He's a just God as well.

It was just, heart wrenching. I prayed for him that night. I'm praying for him now. I hope he finds the truth before it's too late.

He's a good guy. He does good things and has good morals.
But being good isn't enough.
"Your good deeds are like dirty rags." - Isaiah 64:6
And dirty rags aren't going to cut it. God is perfect and holy. How can He expect any less?

That's why He sent Jesus.
Suggesting that there's a "grey scale" to sin is saying that Jesus' death didn't really matter. That it didn't need to happen.

And that is simply impossible.

Freshman year is almost half over already?

Wow.. that flew by.
I have this week and finals left. Then I'm headed home for Christmas break!

I tried to find a picture that I've taken to sum up this semester. There are so many to choose from (because I just finished my 365 project like 2 days ago), but I finally decided on one...for several reasons. You'll find it at the bottom with a few mementos along the way.

It has definitely been an adventure so far. Thinking back to that first day... wow. That was the day our "group" came together. It was so much fun. Picture perfect.

And it was so weird how we all came together too. Our group doesn't function like a single entity. The only reason we can even categorize ourselves as a group is because we know each other a little more than anyone else knows us. But each person associates with several different "groups". We're all like intersect points.



There have been great events, like Worship on a Canvas, and 3 different Hunger and Thirst Chapels I attended. Not to mention Fire Fall, the Christmas Concert, the String Orchestra, the International Ice Cream Social, Fusion, Ignited, Humbug, and a dance performance along the way.

But I chose this last one to represent this semester.



This semester has been about three main things:
Friendship, Learning, and Growing.
Really, they all coincided. This semester has been beautiful. I have met some amazing people, had the best roommates ever, experienced some amazing things, and have learned so much.

One of the main things I've learned?
I have so far to go.

And another?
Not only is God with me every step of the way, but I've got great friends to back me up.

Oh, and I love my parents. :)

It's really very hard to sum up in a sentence or two just what has happened over this semester and how I've grown. Maybe this is just to be continued...

You Know it's Funny...

At a glance you could look up and see a gray cloud. Then the melancholy foreboding would come over you as a response to the "sure sign" of rain.

But all it would take is to look around the building, the obstruction, the obstacle, to see what there is a brilliant sunset in motion on the other side, just beyond your vision. The sun brightly shines a radiant gold onto everything, enriching every color. The clouds turn bright pink near the sun as shafts of the tinted light burst through every opening, singing an eloquent melody of sweet hues across the sky. And it's then you realize...

the clouds were never gray.
They were purple.

The pink light sweeps across the entire sky, catching on the light, brush-stroked clouds. And I wonder how the sun can reach the sky behind me even when sinking so low.
Do the clouds change color in space? Or is it all part of our perception? Would that mean no two people can ever see the same sunset, even when standing next to one another?

What makes the sun "go down" is the fact that we are actually revolving and rotating. It's still there, we are just slowly turning away from it. Even on the other side of the world the sun rises on the east and sets in the west.

I wonder if there's any significance to that...

It's Not Just Crystallized Intelligence...

...and it's not just Fluid, either.
--

Here I sit...
In my black t-shirt, hot pink dance capris, tights and socks, my converse on the floor beside me, and my hair up in a ponytail with that bothersome, single lock of hair that is constantly falling to the middle of my forehead.

Here I sit...
At my desk, in my dorm room. The laptop sitting on my stuffed and satisfied calender, full of happenings and events. The lamp is standing in the corner, shining it's watery light down on my fingertips as they stroke the keyboard swiftly. It balances on a small stack of books with a letter to a friend leaning against it.

Here I sit...
My psychology textbook by my right hand, along with my math workbook and binder. To my left is my agenda, full of plans, ideas, quotes, assignments and dates.

Here I am, a college student. A daughter. A friend. A conqueror. A survivor. A believer. A dancer. A dreamer. A warrior. A worker. A peacemaker. A poet. A linguist. A writer. A friend.
Alive.

And while I'm excited for what is to come, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a little bit afraid of change. What I've known has been so good...How could I know what the future holds? Why would I ever want to leave where I was?

But it's already happening on it's own. And if I don't move forward, I'll never know what could have been. If I stay where I am, I'll never know how good it could get.

And I want adventure.

So I will trust. And I will rest assured that my God is with me wherever I go. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He knows the plans and as I acknowledge Him, He will direct my paths and make them straight. Or if there are any bumps along the way, I won't mind. I'll know I'm headed in the right direction.

It's like Pastor Don once said,
"If you go forward, you may lose a little.
If you stay where you are, you will lose a lot more.
If you go back, you'll lose everything."

I choose Jesus.
^{I choose Life.}

So in the words of a good friend of mine:
I travel on.

We Only See a Part....

--

"C.S. Lewis writes: 'If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. . .If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage.'

Lewis relates this desire to one's purpose in life: 'I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.'

In short: 'All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it, or else, that it was within your reach and you have lost it forever.'"



--

^{Quoted from: The Question of God. Dr. Armand M. Nicholi, Jr. The Free Press 2002. Chapter 2: The Creator - Is there an Intelligence beyond the Universe? pg. 47}

There's a story...

about a rabbi.
^{(Forgive me if I don't get it just right.)}

This rabbi was walking along the shores of Israel one evening, heading towards his home. And like any good rabbi, he was quoting Scripture to himself. Over and over, repeating a phrase. As he goes along, it begins to get darker, and he takes a wrong turn towards a Roman fort. The guard at the top of the wall calls out to the rabbi and startles the man who is just realizing he is not where he expected to be.

"Who are you?
What are you doing here?"

The rabbi stands in stunned silence for a moment, then responds, "How much do you get paid to ask me these questions?"
The soldier, taken a little bit off guard answers him.
"I'll pay you double!" the rabbi declared loudly, "But you must stand outside my house and ask me those two same questions every morning when I leave and every evening I return."

So I have a question for you:

Who are you?
What are you doing here?

In this world of constant motion, have you ever stopped to consider? You are here for a purpose. Do you know what it is? Are you fulfilling it? There's a lot of hype in this world. We get caught up in worries and menial tasks, ideologies and philosophies, complacency and disinterest... But can you answer these two simple questions?
Can I?
Or have we not even attempted to answer them. Are we afraid of the answer? Or the lack of one? I think that's what all these distractions are about. Perhaps all this incessant noise, all this preoccupied busy-ness, all of these time consuming schedules where you can scarcely get a breath of fresh air (much less enjoy one)... perhaps it is all a desperate attempt to avoid the silence. Perhaps it is a manic fervor to steer clear of those two taboo questions:

Who are you?
What are you doing here?

To answer them could turn your world upside-down.
Go ahead. Try it.

College?!

Yeah... it's surprising to me too.
After just a week of school, so much has happened already. Orientation was exciting, if not slightly overwhelming. But the people are super nice and helpful. It's been a great week. I'm taking a class at 8am! Yup! But thank God I'm interested in it.... Introduction to Biblical Languages.
We study Hebrew for the first half of the semester! And the second half we do some Greek. I love it. I'm also taking an Earth Science and Lab, Intro to Psychology, a Math class, and an introductory Theology class.
As well as getting introduced to my teachers and classes, we have had some amazing chapels. Tommy Barnett and his son spoke and the group in Israel had a call into chapel on Friday.

The school is really good at making sure everyone is connected. We have resident hall meetings, first teams, and events to go to. One night they had an event called "The Underground" where all the freshman went to meet one another. There was a photobooth that me and Ashley took pictures in, speed conversation tables, and even a giant Twister board! Along with, of course, some awesome music. They also had hot chocolate, tea, and coffee available to the kids outside with tables and such to hang around and chat.
Anyway, I love my roommates, I'm meeting amazing people and making lifelong friendships. It's great so far... I guess we'll see how it is near finals!

Wish me luck (or some of God's favor, preferably).
I have a job interview on Monday!

Work.

While doing a project this summer with my mom at my great aunt's house, I began to ponder...

There are two reasons why people should clean, garden, or mow the lawn (beside the fact that they are getting something done).

1. It provides physical stimulation.
2. It provides mental stimulation.

When you work you have time to think; which is seemingly an unpopular occurrence now-a-days.
Consider it.
Work involves many repetitive motions that do not require much concentration, but just habit. (Ex. sweeping, wiping windows, washing dishes, pulling weeds, watering flowers, etc.) Since it does not require much concentration, it gives you time to think about things.
Anything.
Plans for the weekend, your summer, a problem that may need solving (note: to think and consider the problem, not brood over it), or the mysteries of the universe. I'm serious!
It also provides quality time to come up with something that has potential to be a brilliant idea. How many scientists, while washing test tubes and putting away Benson burners, finally thought of a possible candidate for the missing piece to the experiment they were conducting. And, when added, it led to the proving of some revolutionary theory or new medicine? How do you supposed the vacuum was invented? Someone thought, after years and years of sweeping, "There must be a better, more efficient way to do this!" And they set out to find or invent it.

In this world where there is a constant green light, we need to put in some time to just think about things. Consider them. Look at the universe. Put away distractions, go outside, and do something that just so happens to be doubly productive.

Before:

And After:


"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,
do it all for the glory of God."
- 1 Corinthians 10:31

Quotes to Ponder...

An ode to C.S. Lewis.
_{- Style of post inspire by Ashes.
Photos found here: [link] -}

Take a moment.
Take a breath.
And take this in.

-=-

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.
We are far too easily pleased.

There are two kinds of people:
those who say to God, "Thy will be done,"
and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."

This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people.

At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of the morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in.

God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love.

This is the terrible fix we are in. If the universe is not governed by an absolute goodness, then all our efforts are in the long run hopeless. But if it is, then we are making ourselves enemies to that goodness every day, and are not in the least likely to do any better tomorrow, and so our case is hopeless again....God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most want to hide from.

We are told that Christ was killed for us, that His death has washed out our sins, and that by dying He has disabled death itself. That is the formula. That is Christianity. That is what has to be believed. Any theories we build up as to how Christ's death did all this are, in my view, quite secondary: mere plans or diagrams to be left alone if they do not help us, and, if they do help us, not to be confused with the thing itself.

Now is our chance to choose the right side.
God is holding back to give us that chance.
It won't last forever. We must take it or leave it.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen.
Not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

The House is Sleeping...

and I'm wide awake.
And I feel like writing. So here it goes...

It's interesting, you know? How we grow and change. It's interesting to watch friendships evolve, dissipate, fade, return, sway... It's interesting how so many personalities react and interact.
It's all so very interesting.

I have never had one of those lives... You know, the "grow-up-in-the-same-city-in-the-familiar-neighborhood-on-the-cozy-street-in-the-same-house-my-whole-life" lives. The longest I've ever been in one school is three years. I've moved over a dozen times. I'm not upset or disappointed about it. Actually, I rather liked it. It has prepared me. I've embraced the changes. I've adapted.
I had to.

And that has helped shape me into who I am today. And sometimes... I think that's why I don't relate to people on the same level. Or maybe they don't relate to me on the same level. Maybe that's why I don't really see where they are coming from on some things. Maybe I tend to come at friendships from a different angle. I don't know.

It's so interesting.
You can talk to three different people about the same problem and get totally different answers. In the end, you pretty much have to just make a decision yourself, hoping you're making the right one. That's in everything, I suppose. I mean, of course you can't depend on others to make your own decisions. Sometimes it just helps to know you're on the right track.

My little brother asked me the other day if I thought it would have been better if I was an only child. I told him that if I was an only child, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I like who I am. I like where this is going. I like trusting in God above myself. I like not having a distinct plan. I love my family, the friends I have, the opportunities I've been blessed with, the dreams and hopes... There are bad days and everything. Sure. But... I don't know. That's part of why I like it. All of it. This is what God has given me; He knows I can handle it. I just want to do the best I can.

There are always things to work on...
Sometimes I wonder if God just wants us to stop trying to fix ourselves and the world around us... stop for a moment and just be. Be with Him. Just be still and know.
Know that He is God.
Know that He has saved me.
Know that I am forgiven.
Know that I am clean.
Know that I am free.

And just be.
Be with Him.
Like I was meant to be.
Living with complete abandon.
Daring to love with all I am.
Without shame.
Without holding back.
Without worrying about how vulnerable that is.

And where is this all coming from?
"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks."

^{((My, my, Lord. You're just always full of surprises.))}

_{[This is me...]}

Isn't it Ironic?

I'm finally going to update my blog,
and its when my parents are coming in.

So where have I disappeared to these last several weeks? It's a place my friends and I like to call B-town. I arrived April 10 and this is my last week and a half here.

Wow, where do I even begin? Over a year ago I was casually offered a chance to apply for a scholarship to attend a Christian school in Florida for my senior year of high school. This school has taken several teams for ministry in the D.R. Each time they were working with me and my family. So, I said I would pray about it. Although I decided not to attend the last full year (as I wanted to spend as much time in the Dominican as possible), I did say that if God would provide a way for me to attend the last quarter, I would go.
Well it just so worked out that not only could I attend the school for the last quarter auditing classes, but a home-base was provided as well. The Wilkinson family has so graciously accepted me into their home for these past five weeks. They had a newly refurbished guest bedroom made up for me and everything. (Thanks you guys!)
And since I've been here, I've been pretty busy.
Or really busy...
But it has been good.

I've attended prom, taken my three AP tests, visited the Ringling Museum, watched the sunset on the beach, stayed the weekend with the Childers, seen Danny and Denise again, been to six different youth groups a couple of times, taken my first ceramics class, had a 'senior trip' to Gainesville with Jenny, gone kayaking for the first time, sent in scholarships, attended the Spring Concert, seen a play of Narnia, gone to the Shake Pit for a rootbeer float, gazed at the stars out on the pier, went ice skating, gotten my hair cut, chai tea at dunkin donuts, sung on a praise team, ministered and been ministered to, discussed old favorite t.v. shows on a swing set with friends after the art show... and much more. It's been great hanging out with friends that I usually only see for a week or two out of the whole year. I wish I had more time with all of them.

So now graduation is coming up. I'm visiting my future college campus again with my parents to make sure everything is coming along as it should. Then the fam and I will travel up to visit family and churches that we haven't seen in over a year! Summer involves getting a license... and a job at some point. But for now, I'll just enjoy the time I have left and look forward to seeing some of them again at the end of the summer.
And right now? I have to go. My parents have landed and I've got to get ready for dinner tonight. I can't wait to see them again! These past few weeks have definitely been good preparation for the future... but I'm ready to be with my family again.

A huge thank you to all of you who have made me feel so welcome during my stay here in B-town.
I'm really glad I came.

It's Not That

...It's not that I haven't been writing.

I have a daily prayer journal and two other journals besides to prove that.
And I suppose it's not that I've been too lazy to write a decent post, nor that I've been too busy. I just... haven't. Does that make sense? Actually, I haven't written a post like this in a long time. You might be able to count November's entry... but I think it's more along the lines of June.
Just writing to write. To spill those words out on the page. I kind of just want to let my thoughts come and go as they please with this one. And maybe I've been a little bit hesitant with this because it tends to be a bit revealing. That makes for good writing, I suppose.
Lately I've been doing so much work. And yet, so little. But soooo much. This I will not be able to explain correctly. Hmm, fighting procrastination, I would rather be talking with friends, doing photography, catching sunshine, dancing with the wind. Wouldn't everyone rather be doing that though? Living an adventure instead of reading about them. I will soon enough. I am living an adventure. This is part of it. One of those tedious parts. Like when you have to cross a river in the winter. The water is so cold when you touch it. So you jump from rock to rock. From wobbly, slippery rock to rock. Balancing, often falling, and most likely getting more wet than if you had just tread the water.

It's kind of hard to do this while watching a movie.
I could go for some real milk and oreos right now.

God is so good. (I told you, like thoughts flowing out of my head.) I was accepted into the college I applied to! A friend of mine also found out recently that she was accepted as well. We hope to be roommates. Which will be so fun.
Every time I think about that, about leaving, I get a knot in my stomach. It's exciting. It's new. It's part of this adventure. But the scenery has been so nice here. It's so familiar. Warm, friendly and inviting. I know it's not going to be easy to go from being with my family 24/7 to six weeks away from them... Here's the thing: This is my home now. Problem is, I don't really know where that is anymore. You know how they say home is where the heart is? Well my heart is torn in so many different directions. Huge chunks reaching across the ocean and seas. I have a picture in one of my many journals of it. It's like a puzzle piece heart. It has arrows coming out of it that point at different words: Friends, Family, Dreams, Hopes, This, That, and the Other...
But more of you, O Lord. More love. Don't stop it... make the vessel larger. May my heart grow to contain it and continue to reach out. Overflowing...

It all makes sense. Life makes wonderful sense. It's not about having all the answers, it's having faith and trusting in the One who does. "Love is wild for reasons" and we all want it so bad.

It's just something we can't quite explain.

New Year - New Project

Well this year I decided to start a photography project. Technically, it started December 6, but... Anyways, it's called Project 365 (as you can see by that fancy text link below). And every day for the next year I'll be taking at least one photo.

And just as a preview, here are some examples of what I've posted so far.





-=-