Flash from the Past

Previously posted October 19, 2007.

It's pretty ordinary around here.

Except for one exciting thing that happened.
My parents work with a ministry called Agape Flights, you might already know that. Anyways, every Wednesday two pilots come in and stay at our house overnight after the flight. This week we had an interesting occurrence.
My dad and I drove to a place near by to get some pizza for dinner that night. We had a great conversation. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff. I can't even begin to tell you all of it. But I do remember one thing.
We talked about all of the paradoxes in our faith.
Freedom by surrender naming one.
It's so crazy.

Christianity is the only faith that I know of that you can't personally do anything to get into heaven/nirvana/peace or whatever you're looking for. It's only by the grace of God that we make it. And we don't even deserve it. Nor can we ever gain it. Only receive it.

Doesn't that point to something there?

Yeah, it's the hardest, but at the same time, a child can understand it. People try to make salvation so complicated, and it's so simple. Isn't that just like God? He never seems to do things the way we expect Him to. But He does them perfectly.

But anyways, that's not even the exciting thing that happened.
We got back home and sat around the table, eating pizza and breadsticks. It was nice. And then one of the pilots (the volunteer, not the captain) pops a question. He says he wants to "pick our brains" so to speak. Get our perspective on a few things.

So he asks, "Is God into micro-managing?"
I'm a little confused so I ask him what he means.
He asks, "Well, is God into the details, or did He kind of just create the earth and say 'Okay, here's the earth, go and do something good with it.' Did He just set it in motion and kind of back away to see what would happen?"

And that's where it started.

As we tried to satisfy him with an answer to this questions he asks other questions like, "What about the people who never hear the name of Jesus? What about them?"

And after talking with him (me, my dad, my mom, Jeff, and Charlie) we finally come to this conclusion. We finally have this epiphany of sorts.

"Ohhhh, he's not a Christian yet."

That turned the whole discussion in a new direction. We were wondering why talking about certain things didn't seem to make much sense to him. So we started trying to take out some of those "Christian" words that tend to confuse people and just be straight to the point.

We didn't try to convert him. Just answer his questions to the best of our ability. To let him know that he is a sinner, but Jesus still loves him.

It was a really great night. I listened mostly. Feeling like that kid Elihu who had to speak after all those older than him before he could speak to Job.

Sometimes I felt like crying for that guy. He kept saying,
"I feel like God is a great guy. A really kind being. With infinite intelligence. And I think He's smart enough to see a grey area. So that those who are basically good people, He'll go ahead and let into heaven."

That's just not how it works. And I don't think he wanted to admit that. He wanted us to tell him he's basically a good guy. He didn't have to worry about getting into heaven.

He kept forgetting that we are all sinners.
And we have fallen short of the glory of God.
And God still loves us.
But He's a just God as well.

It was just, heart wrenching. I prayed for him that night. I'm praying for him now. I hope he finds the truth before it's too late.

He's a good guy. He does good things and has good morals.
But being good isn't enough.
"Your good deeds are like dirty rags." - Isaiah 64:6
And dirty rags aren't going to cut it. God is perfect and holy. How can He expect any less?

That's why He sent Jesus.
Suggesting that there's a "grey scale" to sin is saying that Jesus' death didn't really matter. That it didn't need to happen.

And that is simply impossible.

Freshman year is almost half over already?

Wow.. that flew by.
I have this week and finals left. Then I'm headed home for Christmas break!

I tried to find a picture that I've taken to sum up this semester. There are so many to choose from (because I just finished my 365 project like 2 days ago), but I finally decided on one...for several reasons. You'll find it at the bottom with a few mementos along the way.

It has definitely been an adventure so far. Thinking back to that first day... wow. That was the day our "group" came together. It was so much fun. Picture perfect.

And it was so weird how we all came together too. Our group doesn't function like a single entity. The only reason we can even categorize ourselves as a group is because we know each other a little more than anyone else knows us. But each person associates with several different "groups". We're all like intersect points.



There have been great events, like Worship on a Canvas, and 3 different Hunger and Thirst Chapels I attended. Not to mention Fire Fall, the Christmas Concert, the String Orchestra, the International Ice Cream Social, Fusion, Ignited, Humbug, and a dance performance along the way.

But I chose this last one to represent this semester.



This semester has been about three main things:
Friendship, Learning, and Growing.
Really, they all coincided. This semester has been beautiful. I have met some amazing people, had the best roommates ever, experienced some amazing things, and have learned so much.

One of the main things I've learned?
I have so far to go.

And another?
Not only is God with me every step of the way, but I've got great friends to back me up.

Oh, and I love my parents. :)

It's really very hard to sum up in a sentence or two just what has happened over this semester and how I've grown. Maybe this is just to be continued...

You Know it's Funny...

At a glance you could look up and see a gray cloud. Then the melancholy foreboding would come over you as a response to the "sure sign" of rain.

But all it would take is to look around the building, the obstruction, the obstacle, to see what there is a brilliant sunset in motion on the other side, just beyond your vision. The sun brightly shines a radiant gold onto everything, enriching every color. The clouds turn bright pink near the sun as shafts of the tinted light burst through every opening, singing an eloquent melody of sweet hues across the sky. And it's then you realize...

the clouds were never gray.
They were purple.

The pink light sweeps across the entire sky, catching on the light, brush-stroked clouds. And I wonder how the sun can reach the sky behind me even when sinking so low.
Do the clouds change color in space? Or is it all part of our perception? Would that mean no two people can ever see the same sunset, even when standing next to one another?

What makes the sun "go down" is the fact that we are actually revolving and rotating. It's still there, we are just slowly turning away from it. Even on the other side of the world the sun rises on the east and sets in the west.

I wonder if there's any significance to that...

It's Not Just Crystallized Intelligence...

...and it's not just Fluid, either.
--

Here I sit...
In my black t-shirt, hot pink dance capris, tights and socks, my converse on the floor beside me, and my hair up in a ponytail with that bothersome, single lock of hair that is constantly falling to the middle of my forehead.

Here I sit...
At my desk, in my dorm room. The laptop sitting on my stuffed and satisfied calender, full of happenings and events. The lamp is standing in the corner, shining it's watery light down on my fingertips as they stroke the keyboard swiftly. It balances on a small stack of books with a letter to a friend leaning against it.

Here I sit...
My psychology textbook by my right hand, along with my math workbook and binder. To my left is my agenda, full of plans, ideas, quotes, assignments and dates.

Here I am, a college student. A daughter. A friend. A conqueror. A survivor. A believer. A dancer. A dreamer. A warrior. A worker. A peacemaker. A poet. A linguist. A writer. A friend.
Alive.

And while I'm excited for what is to come, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a little bit afraid of change. What I've known has been so good...How could I know what the future holds? Why would I ever want to leave where I was?

But it's already happening on it's own. And if I don't move forward, I'll never know what could have been. If I stay where I am, I'll never know how good it could get.

And I want adventure.

So I will trust. And I will rest assured that my God is with me wherever I go. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He knows the plans and as I acknowledge Him, He will direct my paths and make them straight. Or if there are any bumps along the way, I won't mind. I'll know I'm headed in the right direction.

It's like Pastor Don once said,
"If you go forward, you may lose a little.
If you stay where you are, you will lose a lot more.
If you go back, you'll lose everything."

I choose Jesus.
^{I choose Life.}

So in the words of a good friend of mine:
I travel on.

We Only See a Part....

--

"C.S. Lewis writes: 'If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. . .If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage.'

Lewis relates this desire to one's purpose in life: 'I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.'

In short: 'All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it, or else, that it was within your reach and you have lost it forever.'"



--

^{Quoted from: The Question of God. Dr. Armand M. Nicholi, Jr. The Free Press 2002. Chapter 2: The Creator - Is there an Intelligence beyond the Universe? pg. 47}