The 'Thin Places'

What if the Truth is there...

Right there in front of our faces...

just waiting to be known?

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Genesis 1:6-8

וַיֹּאמֶר אֱלֹהִים יְהִי רָקִיעַ בְּתֹוךְ הַמָּיִם וִיהִי מַבְדִּיל בֵּין מַיִם לָמָֽיִם׃

וַיַּעַשׂ אֱלֹהִים אֶת־הָרָקִיעַ וַיַּבְדֵּל בֵּין הַמַּיִם אֲשֶׁר מִתַּחַת לָרָקִיעַ וּבֵין הַמַּיִם אֲשֶׁר מֵעַל לָרָקִיעַ וַֽיְהִי־כֵֽן׃

וַיִּקְרָא אֱלֹהִים לָֽרָקִיעַ שָׁמָיִם וַֽיְהִי־עֶרֶב וַֽיְהִי־בֹקֶר יֹום שֵׁנִֽי׃ פ

"And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which [were] under the firmament from the waters which [were] above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day."

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מַיִם - (mayim) dual of an unused singual - water

שָׁמָיִם - (shamayim) dual of an unused singual - no definition; correponds to שָׁמָיִן (shamayin) meaning heaven; also, (shawmeh) from an unused root meaning to be lofty; the sky (as aloft). The dual (shamayim) perhaps alluding to the visible arch in with the clouds move, as well as to the higher either where the celestial bodies revolve: -air, heaven.

לָרָקִיעַ - (rawkeeah) from (raw-kah') a primitive root; to pound the earth (as a sign of passion); by analogy to expand (by hammering); by implication, to overlay (with thin sheets of metal):--beat, make broad, spread abroad (forth, over, out, into plates), stamp, stretch. - properly, an expanse, i.e. the firmament or (apparently) visible arch of the sky:--firmament.

firmament - the vault of heaven; sky. origin: 1250–1300; ME <>to strengthen, support ( see firm2 ) + -mentum -ment

_{(*definitions found from Strong's Exhaustive Concordance that I found today in an old Methodist Church thrift shop and dictionary.com)}

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Okay, so you may be thinking "Uhm, that's all a bunch of gobbledygook to me... what does it mean?" First of all, I can't take credit for the spark of this inspiration. All credit goes to my Hebrew professor, Dr. Zieman, who mentioned the relation of water to heaven in my lesson last Thursday during our overview of the new vocabulary.

Okay, so the initial thoughts before the Genesis reference, what am I saying?

I'm saying that there's a pretty good chance that we are missing some key information about heaven. And I'm also saying that I don't understand it all myself yet. The words water and heaven are very similar. And it is an expanse derived from a word that means to pound as a sign of passion? "The Spirit hovered over the waters..." Does that mean that at one point in creation, the makings of heaven and earth were combined? And He divided "the waters". I always thought this was sky and sea. Atmosphere and ocean. But heaven is the expanse between these two? What does that mean? Where is it? Is it still connected?

I find all of this so fascinating. I don't want to over-read the text. I simply want to take a fresh look at something that may have been overlooked many a time by myself and perhaps many others. Or if not overlooked, then misunderstood.

Though I could be wrong.
It wouldn't be the first time.

But it's okay to be wrong. You learn from that... most of the time. And I think it's okay to wonder. It's okay to wonder if maybe there's more to it... or less to it. And it's good to wonder what implications there might be...

Hmm...

I have learned from a very good professor that sometimes there is more to be taught by not giving an answer, but leaving the thinking and wondering to the audience. For those who truly wish to learn, motivation will spark a desire and willingness to research the idea for deeper understanding. And time is not lost on those who do not care for it.

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"Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,
And daub their natural faces unaware..."

_{- Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "Aurora Leigh"}

Reflections of...

...a soul learning to fly.

Just another peek into what goes on inside of me.

Because it's been awhile since I've sat down to write a blog on whatever may come to mind.

Something unedited and unapologetic.

Growing up is not easy, but you can't expect to be spoon fed for the rest of your life. No one wants to live that way. Or if they do, I don't see how they could ever be content with that.

I should probably, at this point, go ahead and warn you that this is not going to flow in a well-written, organized manner. If you don't see some sort of connection between one thought and the next, that's okay. It's probably because there isn't one. Or if there is, it was by distance relation to other ideas in between that went by too quickly to catch and put down in words. I wouldn't expect to get anything theologically profound in the next few sentences or paragraphs or phrases... whatever this may turn out to be. This is just a little therapy for me.

This is a Tree Swallow, from my understanding. Isn't it gorgeous? Look at that blue! That is the most marvelous blue... I saw about two dozen of them today while I was standing out on the dock before lunch. They were all sitting along the railing facing me, against the wind. I didn't want to disturb them. Well, that's alright because the wind started getting rough (nearly knocking me over) and so they took to flight. They dipped and swooped and spun, ascended and dove and glided... it was beautiful. Carefree. Skilled. I just loved watching them. They would get so close to the water they nearly touched it, yet they left enough room to flap their wings to rise higher again. Lovely. And there were so many! Not once did they collide, though they moved swiftly in what seemed zigzag, undetermined motions. Perhaps there's a dance to it...

Do you ever wonder what people think about? Are they thinking about anything at all? Their schedule? What someone just said to them? The next thing they are going to say? Agenda? To-do list? That girl or that guy that looked their way? When they might get a chance to eat next and wondering if their favorite soup will be in today? Their current circumstances? Problems? Potential solutions? Are we always thinking about something or is it possible to not be thinking anything at all? You can still be thinking when you're not really thinking about thinking, can't you? Or perhaps it's just the brain is constantly at work. Even when we're sleeping.

Or how about what kinds of things people say throughout the day? Like when some people walk by and you catch just a snippet of the conversation their having, do you ever wonder what started that conversation or where it will lead? Or when you consciously hear that constant drum of noise in the cafeteria and you remember that, hey, those are actually people talking about things. Usually all different things. You might have heard it said that women say speak several thousands or words a day while men speak almost less than half. Heard of a statistic like that? Actually, men and women speak about the same amount.

So out of all those thousands and thousands of words that you speak a day (which just goes to show you the flexibility and creativity that is found in language that you can come up with completely new sentences everyday for the rest of your life...), out of all those spoken words plus all of those words that you think in a day... about how much of that is about God?
Okay.

About how much of that is about you or your life or what you have to do? For that matter, how much do I think about me and my life and my future? Right. Something needs to be done about that.

You know, it's kind of nice that it's not all about me. Because if it's all about me, I don't know, that would almost be disappointing. Not because I'm a bad person or anything...

But I'm so small.

I would just have to wonder, isn't there more to all of this?
And if you really take a while to look around, to consider the stars and planets and galaxies that are quadrillions of times bigger than our sun... and you take a moment to get outside of your own head and remember that there are other people around you, not only those you can see right next to you, but those that are across the world that you have never met and probably never will meet... and you look at the paradox of the complexity and simplicity of life on this planet... somehow you get this shrinking feeling, this humbling knowledge that you just know it can't be all about you.

It's not.

We waste so much time. So much time.
If you get the suggested amount of sleep -- 8 hours -- every night... you sleep one third of you life away. And that's actually good for you. Really? A third of it! Gone!

Listen, I've been thinking.
You may feel like you don't have a lot of time on your hands, and you're probably right. But the good thing is, we can multitask. How about this idea: there are parts of my job that I feel like I could do blindfolded backwards while standing on my head. It's not that it's super easy, it's just tedious and repetitive. What if I used that time to pray unceasingly? I would get four hours or work and prayer in a day. That's one fourth of the 16 hours that I'm awake. I, personally, am going to try and use my "half hours" more purposefully as well. There are things I need to do and get done. Can't I do them in my "in-betweens"? If I'm going to sleep about a third of my life anyway, I might as well be good and tired when I do it, right?

Our lives are but a vapor.
A blink of an eye.
Quick.

But count your life by love lavished instead of seconds spent.
It's a lot more motivating.

The Wonders of Pondering...

Have you ever read a book with someone?
I remember one of my favorite childhood memories was when my dad would read to me just before bed. I know you see that in movies and stuff, but how many dads actually do that? And how many dads--if they do that--read a fantastic book like The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?

I can remember the beginning of my reading career. It was in kindergarten. My dad had come in one day and we were supposed to all be reading to our parents or something. Anyway, I was sitting in his lap and I remember faking it. I didn't want to try so hard. I didn't want to look silly in front of someone so smart, someone I admired and loved. So I would look at the pictures, make up my own words (from what I remembered of the story) and turned the page "before" he would get a chance to look at the real words.

But I admired him with reason. He was smarter than I.
"Britt," he said while turning back to the previous page, "how about reading this word to me again." He pointed at one of the various words on the page. I stared at him blankly, wondering how he had figured out my clever trick. Thus it began. Slowly, even painfully at times. Now I can't get enough. And recently, it's been with one or a couple of others.

For example, a few months ago my friends and I decided to begin reading a book together called Before You Meet Your Prince Charming. Maybe it sounds cliche, but it's really very challenging. It's neat to see reactions, hear different perspectives, clarify and delve into... We're picking it apart piece by piece, weighing it against our different experiences and what we know as Truth. We keep a journal to track our progress along the way.

And today I was reading Crazy Love with my mom. Another very challenging book, but a very good read if you're willing to apply what you learn. We'll finish tomorrow before I leave for school again. We did mani-pedi's tonight. :)

I love my family very much. I thank God for what He has blessed me with, and I look forward to seeing them again this summer (which seems to be getting busier and busier). I don't want to wish any time away, or even to ask it to move swiftly. That would be foolish. I need this time to learn some things. I don't even ask that it would be easy. Only that God would be right by my side through it all, guiding me and guarding me.

This year I will learn.
This year I will train.

It's time to get ready.
Right now is preparation for a time soon to come.
Acercate, mi Dios.

Thank You, Lord...

^{O my soul, rejoice!}

As I look back through my prayer journal for the year 2009 I can the see the mark of God's faithfulness over and over again. He has been with me every step of the way. He never left my side. And I am thankful... you can see it splashed most every page.

In this year 2009, what have I learned?
I will take an excerpt from one of my prayers this summer:

I will forgive; You forgave me.
I will let go; You're in control.
I will believe; You are trustworthy.
I will be patient; it is a virtue and pleasing to You.
I will have joy, for You are my salvation.
I will remain; You will never let me go.
I will persevere, for you have promised a crown of life.
I will trust; You are faithful.
I will sing; You sing over me.
I will be still; You are God.
I will pray, for You hear me.
I will glorify; You are King.
I will please; for it is my deepest desire.
I will walk confidently in my steps; You have told me so.
I will love; You have loved me first.

Any more to add?
I will dance before You just like King David, for he was a man after Your own heart. I will wait on You and not waste this time; what You offer is worth waiting for. I will rejoice always; You have brought me to life. I will live free, for who the Son sets free is free indeed. And above all: I will focus on my relationship with You, for that is all that matters. May this vapor of a life be a glorifying flash of light for the One who made me.

Thank You for an amazing year, Lord.
Do Your will in the next.

I love You, Abba.